A Four By Four Blended Family Bubblegum Smack: The First Juvenile Release

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1
The kind of human that thinks sitting in a puddle of their own sweat is a luxury suite.
I saw one in the mall crying because the escalator wasn't moving fast enough.
He tried to propose to the pizza delivery guy.
He took a selfie with a toilet and called it a ‘viral moment’.
2
People who think being constipated is a superpower and then brag about it.
She posted a TikTok about her ‘third-degree constipation’ and got 200 likes.
He tried to fight a traffic jam with a fart and lost.
He called his dog ‘Poopulus Maximus’ and got banned from the park.
3
The kind of person who thinks they are a king just because they have three hairs on their chin.
He tried to start a kingdom in the grocery store and got kicked out.
He called the librarian ‘his queen’ and got a ticket.
He tried to duel a chicken and got pecked.
4
A human who thinks they’re a rockstar just because they can sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the shower.
He tried to open a concert in the mall and got yelled at by security.
He sang to his cat and got a standing ovation from the dog.
He tried to audition for American Idol and got rejected by a pigeon.
5
People who think they are alive just because they can text with one hand and eat a burrito with the other.
He tried to text while doing a burrito dance and fell into a fountain.
She texted her ex while eating a taco and got a face full of salsa.
He tried to text and burrito-surf and got hit by a shopping cart.
6
Humans who think they are gods because they can stand in a line for six hours just to buy a single candy bar.
He waited in line for a Snickers and got yelled at by a kid.
She stood for four hours just to get a lollipop and cried.
He got in a fight with a hot dog vendor over the last candy.
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