A Four By Four Blended Family Bubblegum Smack: The First Juvenile Release

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The kind of human that thinks sitting in a puddle of their own sweat is a luxury suite.

I saw one in the mall crying because the escalator wasn't moving fast enough.

He tried to propose to the pizza delivery guy.

He took a selfie with a toilet and called it a ‘viral moment’.

People who think being constipated is a superpower and then brag about it.

She posted a TikTok about her ‘third-degree constipation’ and got 200 likes.

He tried to fight a traffic jam with a fart and lost.

He called his dog ‘Poopulus Maximus’ and got banned from the park.

The kind of person who thinks they are a king just because they have three hairs on their chin.

He tried to start a kingdom in the grocery store and got kicked out.

He called the librarian ‘his queen’ and got a ticket.

He tried to duel a chicken and got pecked.

A human who thinks they’re a rockstar just because they can sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the shower.

He tried to open a concert in the mall and got yelled at by security.

He sang to his cat and got a standing ovation from the dog.

He tried to audition for American Idol and got rejected by a pigeon.

People who think they are alive just because they can text with one hand and eat a burrito with the other.

He tried to text while doing a burrito dance and fell into a fountain.

She texted her ex while eating a taco and got a face full of salsa.

He tried to text and burrito-surf and got hit by a shopping cart.

Humans who think they are gods because they can stand in a line for six hours just to buy a single candy bar.

He waited in line for a Snickers and got yelled at by a kid.

She stood for four hours just to get a lollipop and cried.

He got in a fight with a hot dog vendor over the last candy.