A day late and a dollar short - A phrase that means you're so slow and broke you're like a t

A phrase that means you're so slow and broke you're like a toaster that doesn't work and has no money.

I waited for my coffee and ended up with nothing. I was a day late and a dollar short.

My cousin waited for the bus and missed it. He was a day late and a dollar short.

I waited for the pizza and got a cold one. I was a day late and a dollar short.