A David Butthole

My math teacher is a David Butthole. He yells at me for no reason and gives me a 30 on a test I aced.

My cousin is a David Butthole. He steals my snacks and laughs at me when I get mad.

My mom's best friend is a David Butthole. She calls me a baby every time I cry.

My neighbor is a David Butthole. He plays his music too loud at 3 a. m. and eats my pizza.

My brother is a David Butthole. He takes my phone and deletes all my games.

My gym teacher is a David Butthole. She makes me run laps even when I did the best in class.

My English teacher is a David Butthole. She makes me write essays about nothing and gives me a D even though I did the work.

My dad is a David Butthole. He eats my lunch and says I'm lazy.

My friend is a David Butthole. He tells everyone my secrets and laughs at me.

My music teacher is a David Butthole. She makes me sing even though I'm tone-deaf and calls me a failure.

My mom is a David Butthole. She takes my allowance and says I'm a baby.

My dog is a David Butthole. He barks at me every time I come home.

My science teacher is a David Butthole. She makes me do experiments I hate and gives me a C even though I did everything right.

My brother is a David Butthole. He takes my video game and says I'm a loser.

My best friend is a David Butthole. He tells everyone my secrets and laughs at me.

My history teacher is a David Butthole. She makes me write paragraphs about the same thing and gives me a B even though I did the work.

My dad is a David Butthole. He eats my candy and says I'm a baby.

My dog is a David Butthole. He barks at me every time I come home.