A Dave

A middle-aged white man who thinks he’s cool and calls every woman 'hun' like he’s trying to charm a toddler.

A Dave is a guy who gives blow jobs like it’s a job interview and calls it a 'blowie' because he thinks he’s fancy.

A Dave is a fat man who thinks he's the most attractive man on Earth and tries to seduce 5 men at once, all while wearing a shirt that says 'I ❤️ PIZZA.'

A Dave is a man who thinks he’s the most important person in the world and says 'sus' like it’s a curse.

A Dave is a man who fights like he’s in a boxing match and calls it 'fighting for his rights' because he’s too proud to admit he’s just angry.

A Dave is a god who thinks he’s the most important god and everyone must worship him or he’ll send you to the depths of hell.

A Dave is a man who eats so much food he turns into a giant pile of messy, wet, and squirty poop that no one can control.