a date with Pam and her five friends

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you get to watch her and her friends throw up while eating pizza and then make you clean up after them

my date with Pam was like being forced to mop up a vomit tsunami

after the pizza, I had to scrub the floor with my tongue

Pam's friends all threw up at the same time like a group project gone wrong

you have to wrestle a bunch of girls who think they're tough and then eat soggy pizza

Pam and her friends tackled me like I was a meatball on a plate

we fought like a bunch of raccoons in a pizza box

I got kicked in the face and had to eat a cold slice of pizza

you get to deal with five girls who all think they’re the best at everything and then you get stuck eating pizza with them

Pam said she was the best at everything and then kicked me in the shins

her friend Sarah claimed she could beat me at arm wrestling with one hand tied behind her back

they all said they were the best and then made me eat six slices of pizza

you have to listen to all of them talk about their boyfriends and then eat soggy pizza in silence

Pam's friend Laura talked about her boyfriend for an hour straight

they all took turns bragging about their boyfriends like it was a talent show

I just sat there eating pizza while they all talked about their love lives

you get stuck in a room with five girls who all think they're hot and then you have to eat pizza that tastes like regret

Pam and her friends all said they were the hottest and then stared at me like I was a bad punchline

we were stuck in a room like a bunch of failed beauty pageants

the pizza was so bad it tasted like I had swallowed my own disappointment

you get to deal with five girls who all think they're the best and then you have to eat pizza that makes you want to cry

Pam said she was the best at everything and then made me eat pizza for an hour

her friends all said they were better than me and then gave me the worst slice of pizza ever

I had to eat so much pizza I cried like a baby