a clapback

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A comeback that’s got more sass than a gym teacher and more attitude than a hot dog at a football game.

You said I smelled like a trash can? I said, ‘You smell like a trash can that’s been sitting in the sun for a week.’

He called me a dummy? I said, ‘You’re a dummy with a bad haircut.’

She said I was loud? I said, ‘You’re loud and you have no idea what a whisper is.’

A stupid way to say ‘comeback’ that makes no sense because ‘clap’ is just a word for a hand motion, not a fancy comeback.

You said I was fat? I said, ‘You’re a walking pizza box.’

He said I was ugly? I said, ‘You’re a discount ugly.’

She said I was dumb? I said, ‘You’re a slow-burn dumb.’

When you clap your hands while talking to someone to make your insult extra loud and extra mean.

You called me a fool? I clapped and said, ‘You’re a fool with a bad fashion sense.’

He said I was lazy? I clapped and said, ‘You’re a lazy person who also has no idea how to cook.’

She said I was loud? I clapped and said, ‘You’re loud and also a walking radio.’

When someone roasts you, and you hit them back with a roast so hard it makes them cry like a baby.

You said I was a failure? I said, ‘You’re a failure with a bad personality.’

He said I was stupid? I said, ‘You’re a stupid person who also has no idea how to spell.’

She said I was ugly? I said, ‘You’re ugly and also have no life.’

When you think you’re the smartest person in the room, and then someone drops a bomb on you that makes you look like a fool.

I thought I was smart, but she said, ‘You’re smart, but you’re also a walking disaster.’

I said I was on fleek, but he said, ‘You’re not on fleek, you’re on fleek with a side of disaster.’

I thought I was cool, but she said, ‘You’re cool, but you’re also a walking mistake.’

A snarky, mean reply you throw at your family during Thanksgiving because they’re all too annoying to handle.

Your uncle said I was messy, and I said, ‘You’re messy and also a walking mess.’

Your cousin said I was loud, and I said, ‘You’re loud and also have no idea what a whisper is.’

Your mom said I was rude, and I said, ‘You’re rude and also have no idea how to cook.’

When you cheer for someone who doesn’t deserve it, but you’re too dumb to realize it, and it’s so fake it’s like watching a dog bark at a cat.

He said he was a great leader, and I clapped like he was winning the lottery.

She said she was the best, and I clapped like I was her personal cheerleader.

He said he was going to save the world, and I clapped like I believed it.