a captain plan - A plan that's so bad it's like you're going to drown in a bo

A plan that's so bad it's like you're going to drown in a boat that's already crying.

I was going to swim to safety. The boat was going to sink before I even got there.

I tried to save my friend. He tried to save me. We both failed.

I thought I was going to make it. I was wrong. I drowned.