A Canadian
A Canadian is like the best friend you never had, and they'll save you from a fight just because they're nice and no one ever hates Canadians.
"That guy’s a Canadian, he just saved me from a fight because he’s nice.", A guy on the street
"Canadians are the best friends you never had, and they’re not even real.", A guy on a forum
"I called myself a Canadian, and suddenly I wasn’t in trouble anymore.", A guy in a DMV line