A burdick
To burdick is to waste time, skip work, and lie about being sick just so you can watch porn. You do it all while eating snacks and pretending you’re doing something important.
He burdicked all day, claiming he had a headache from ‘the flu of the century.’
She burdicked through her shift, watching cat videos instead of working.
My dad burdicked for three days straight, saying he had a ‘viral infection from the moon.’