A Boris
Boris is the most important guy in Europe. He married Mother Russia, and he's so powerful he can drink a whole lake of vodka and still conquer Germany with his bare hands. He's the best Slav ever.
Boris drank 100 shots of vodka and defeated the Nazis with a spoon.
Boris united all the Slavs and made Poland his servant.
Boris is so strong he can punch a hole in the moon.