a Blow

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A total wrecking. Like your life just got tossed in the trash and set on fire.

My GPA went from 4.0 to 1.2 in one semester. That was a blow.

I lost my job, my pet, and my dignity. That was a blow.

He got expelled, got a tattoo of his ex's name, and cried in public. That was a blow.

When your life gets attacked like it's a damn buffet and you're the last person standing.

My dog ran away, my mom yelled at me, and my math test was a disaster. That was a blow.

I got grounded, my phone died, and my crush ignored me. That was a blow.

My soup was cold, my dog ate my homework, and I got a detention. That was a blow.

When two people punch each other like they're in a cage match, but with more humiliation.

You punch me, I punch you, and we both end up with a black eye and a bruised ego. That was blow for blow.

He took my lunch money, I took his pencil, and we ended up in the principal's office. That was blow for blow.

She said I was ugly, I called her a f***ing meatball, and we both got suspended. That was blow for blow.

A super detailed story about everything that happened, like someone is watching your life on a microscope.

That blow-by-blow story about the lunchroom fight was 10 pages long. That was a blow-by-blow account.

He told the entire history of his day in 20 sentences. That was a blow-by-blow account.

She described every single crumb on my sandwich. That was a blow-by-blow account.

When you give two blow jobs in one week, and your brain explodes from the sheer amount of f***ing.

I gave my crush two blow jobs in one week. My brain exploded.

I did it on Monday and Thursday. My face was red for a week.

I did it in the hallway, in the bathroom, and in the principal's office. My brain went f***ing nuclear.

When you give a guy a blow job just to get some lines of cocaine, and you end up being the f***ing drug dealer.

I gave him a blow job for some coke. Now he's my f***ing dealer.

I traded my dignity for lines of cocaine. Now I'm in the business.

He said he'd give me a blow job for some coke. I said, 'No, I'll give you a blow job for some coke.'

When you ask your girlfriend for a blow job by saying it's 'cute and innocent,' but you're really just begging for mercy.

'Honey, can you give me a blow job? It's cute and innocent.' She said, 'You're f***ing desperate.'

I asked her with a smile. She just looked at me like I was a f***ing beggar.

I said it was cute and innocent. She said I was a f***ing loser.