a barlow

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A barlow is someone who acts like a jokester but is actually a boring, racist loser.

@barlow123: I told a joke about squirrels. It was funny. Then I called a black person a squirrel. That was not funny.

Barlow: 'Why is everyone laughing?' Me: 'Because you just said your own name.'

Barlow tried to make a joke about pizza. It was just a pizza.

To barlow is to drink so much you pass out and wake up with no memory and a huge hangover.

Barlow: 'I drank 12 beers. I remember nothing. I feel like a broken toaster.'

Barlow: 'I woke up in a park. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I'm with.'

Barlow: 'I drank until my face turned purple. I think I died. I think I came back.'

A Will Barlow is someone who doesn't care about anything and just does stupid things for no reason.

Barlow: 'I quit my job to become a chicken. I'm not sorry.'

Barlow: 'I threw my phone out the window because it said 'Hello' too loud.'

Barlow: 'I told my boss I was sick. I wasn't. I just wanted to eat pizza.'

A barlow is a kid who drinks and smokes and can't remember anything from the night before.

Barlow: 'I remember smoking. I remember drinking. I remember falling over. I don't remember why.'

Barlow: 'I woke up in my friend's house. I don't know how I got there. I don't know how I got here.'

Barlow: 'I drank until I saw ghosts. I don't know if they were real or just my brain.'

A barlow is someone who never gives up and always beats you at everything. They're the best at sex, too.

Barlow: 'I beat you at every game. I beat you at every challenge. I beat you at sex.'

Barlow: 'I never give up. I never lose. I win everything. Even when I sleep.'

Barlow: 'I beat you at everything. I beat you at life. I beat you at your life.'

To barlow is to cheat in line by pretending someone was there first and acting like a saint.

Barlow: 'I said that guy was there first. He wasn't. I just wanted to get drinks.'

Barlow: 'I told the bartender that guy was here before me. He wasn't. I was just being a barlow.'

Barlow: 'I lied to get in line first. I don't care if I'm a cheat. I'm a barlow.'

To barlow is to get to the front of a line by blocking someone and sliding in like a sneaky thief.

Barlow: 'I blocked him. I slid in. I got to the front. I don't care if I'm a thief.'

Barlow: 'I put my hands on the bar. I slid in like a ninja. I got first.'

Barlow: 'I blocked him. I moved in. I got a drink before him. I'm a barlow.'

To barlow is to take down a Facebook post because you realized it was a dumb thing to say.

Barlow: 'I posted that I hate my life. Then I realized it was dumb. I took it down.'

Barlow: 'I said my ex was a donkey. I thought it was funny. I took it down.'

Barlow: 'I posted that I was going to be rich. I took it down because I wasn't.'