a baby

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a tiny pile of crack that looks like it was just born from a meth lab

Yo, I just snorted a baby. It was like a tiny explosion in my nose.

That baby is so small, it’s like it’s gonna cry and make me fail my math test.

I ate a baby for breakfast. It was sweet, but it tasted like regret.

the annoying voice that screams 'baby' like it’s trying to get you to lose your mind during a video game battle

That baby voice is like my mom yelling at me during a math test.

Why is the baby still screaming? I’m not even in the final boss fight yet.

I heard the baby and immediately wanted to quit the game and go eat pizza.

the stupid song that makes you feel like you’re being spammed by a baby who’s high on sugar and caffeine

That song is like being yelled at by a baby who just drank three Monster energy drinks.

I heard that song and immediately wanted to punch the baby in the face.

Every time that song plays, I feel like my brain is going to explode.

a stupid way to prove something, like saying 'on god' but worse because it’s just you talking to yourself like a baby

'On god, I swear I ate that last slice of pizza.', That’s just you talking to yourself like a baby.

You said 'on god' like it was the most important thing ever. It wasn’t.

You said 'on god' and I laughed at you like you were a baby.

when a girl acts like a baby, whines, and expects her boyfriend to carry her and give her candy like she’s the queen of the universe

She acted like a baby and cried because her phone was broken. I gave her candy and she still whined.

He had to carry her all the way home because she was being a baby and wouldn’t walk.

She was being a baby and kept asking for more candy like it was her birthday.

you, but also a baby, like when you’re being treated like a baby and you act like it’s the best thing ever

You’re a baby and you love it. You just said 'I love being treated like a baby.'

You are a baby and you’re happy about it. You’re eating ice cream and smiling like a baby.

You are a baby and you’re being cuddled. You just said 'This is the best day ever.'

when someone gives you so much attention and affection that you feel like a baby who just got a lollipop and a hug from their mom

He gave me a hug and a lollipop. I felt like a baby who just got a treat from heaven.

She kept giving me attention and affection. I felt like a baby who just got a hug from her mom.

He was so sweet, I felt like a baby who just got a million hugs and a candy bar.