A and P Catholic

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3 views · Added 16d ago · 3 definitions

Catholics (or any Christian) who only show up to church when there's free stuff like cookies or candy. They’d rather eat than pray.

DM: 'Is there cake at church today? If not, I'm staying home.'

Tweet: 'Ash Wednesday is my favorite holiday. It's like church and a snack bar.'

Text: 'I'm going to church only if they hand out pizza. No pizza, no me.'

These Christians only come to church when there's something in it for them. Like free stuff. Or a good snack.

Tweet: 'I'm a Catholic only on days when there's free donuts. The rest of the time? I'm a sinner.'

Text: 'If they don't have free candy, I don't need to be saved.'

DM: 'I go to church only if there's a chance I might get a cookie.'

These Christians are only interested in church when there's free stuff. They don’t care about God or the sermon.

Tweet: 'I was at church today. It was worth it just for the free pretzels.'

Text: 'I went to church. I got a free bag of chips. I’m a saint now.'

DM: 'I came to church only because they had free pizza. I didn’t even hear the sermon.'