Discover Slang

A British Girl

This girl thinks she's the only one who matters. She doesn't help anyone, and she thinks the teacher loves her. Everyone else hates her, and she's stuck on a boy who doesn't even look at her.

I think I'm the only one who matters. Everyone else is trash.

The teacher loves me, and everyone else is a loser.

I'm stuck on a boy who doesn't even talk to me.

A Brit weird

A person who's so British they're basically a weird foreigner with a tea obsession and a side of judgment.

'I don’t like your sandwich. It’s not proper.', A Brit weird at a picnic.

'Why do you have a pet goat? That’s not normal.', A Brit weird during a Zoom call.

'I’m not weird. I’m just British.', A Brit weird defending their weirdness.

A Brit weird

A British person who’s so weird they probably invented the phrase 'Why would you do that?' and then cursed it.

'Why would you wear socks with sandals? That’s madness!', A Brit weird at a coffee shop.

'I can’t believe you’re eating a muffin at 3 a. m.', A Brit weird texting you at 3 a. m.

'I’m not weird. I’m just British.', A Brit weird again.

A Brit weird

A British person so weird they probably took a bath with a chicken and then blamed it for their bad mood.

'I had a chicken in my bath. It was a bad decision.', A Brit weird on Twitter.

'Why do you live in a shed? That’s not normal.', A Brit weird at a bonfire party.

'I’m not weird. I’m just British.', A Brit weird who’s clearly lost their mind.

A Bright Future

A Bright Future is a guy who wears sunglasses so much he probably thinks the moon is a disco ball. He’s got a Bright Future because something’s holding him back when the lights go out and the party’s over.

Wearing sunglasses during a Zoom call at 3 AM.

Sunglasses on while eating a taco at 2 PM.

Sunglasses on during a bathroom break at 1 AM.

A Bright Future

A Bright Future is a lady with a butt so big it could launch a spaceship. It’s a Bright Future because she’s got enough power to make the whole world blush.

She walks into a room and the lights dim.

Her butt is the reason the chair broke.

She sits down and the floor creaks in fear.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you poop and yell that’s a Brick ‘n’ half, like it’s the biggest dump ever.

Just pooped and screamed, 'That's a brick 'n' half!' My roommate asked if I was trying to clog the toilet.

I told my dog, 'That's a brick 'n' half!' He looked at me like I was mad.

I pooped so hard I thought I had a brick in my pants. 'That's a brick 'n' half!' I yelled at the ceiling.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you finish a dump and say it’s so big it should be called a Brick ‘n’ half.

I finished my dump and said, 'That was a brick ‘n’ half!' My sister said I was just full.

I told my brother, 'That was a brick ‘n’ half!' He said I was just bad at pooping.

After my dump, I said, 'That was a brick ‘n’ half!' My mom said I needed to eat less pizza.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you take a dump and say it’s the biggest one you’ve ever done, and you mean it.

I took a dump and said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' I was telling the truth, I felt it.

After my dump, I told my friend, 'That was a brick ‘n’ half!' He said I was just bragging.

I did my biggest dump yet and said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My dog ran away.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you do a dump so big you think it’s a Brick ‘n’ half, and then you yell it.

I did a dump and thought, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' Then I yelled it at my brother.

I pooped so hard I said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My friend laughed at me.

After my dump, I said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My dad said I was just full.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you take a dump and act like it was the biggest one ever, even if it wasn’t.

I did a normal dump and said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My friend said I was just lying.

After my dump, I said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My mom said I was just full.

I took a dump and said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' My dog didn’t believe me.

A Brick ‘n’ half is when you take a dump and say it’s the biggest one ever, just to show off.

I did my dump and said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' Just to show off to my brother.

After my dump, I said, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' Just to make my friend laugh.

I took a dump and yelled, 'That’s a brick ‘n’ half!' Just to impress my dog.

A sexual position where you pretend you're Brian Urlacher, and you're probably not very good at it.

I tried doing this with my cousin and it was a disaster

My mom thinks I'm doing homework but I'm really doing this

My dog looked at me like I was crazy during this

Brian Urlacher is a middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears. He’s a 4-time Pro Bowl player, but he’s also a huge pain in the ass.

He hit my uncle so hard, my uncle got a black eye

He’s got the strength of a bear, and he’s got the brain of a squirrel

He’s called the Monster of the Midway, but he’s also called a monster in the stands

A funny sexual position where you act like Brian Urlacher, and it's probably not that funny.

My friend did this with his girlfriend and it was a total laugh

I did this with my brother and it was a total mess

My neighbor saw me doing this and called the cops

Brian Urlacher plays middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears in their 4-3 defense. He’s a hard hitter, but he gets bulldozed by Jerome Bettis whenever they play.

He got ran over by Jerome Bettis like he was a pancake

He’s the best player on the team, but he’s also the easiest to beat

He got tossed aside like a rag doll in that game

The most overrated linebacker in the NFL. He’s a huge dud and barely does anything except get knocked around.

He missed tackles like it was his job

He got tackled by a kid in the park

He’s the worst defender since the invention of football

A Brett Barnes

It's a drink that only a desperate man would order when he can't tell the bartender apart from the barstool. It's the cheapest beer on the menu and changes like your mood during a middle school dance.

I asked for a Brett Barnes because I couldn't tell if the bartender was a guy or a girl.

The Brett Barnes was $2.50, so I ordered three of them and called it a night.

At 2 a. m., the Brett Barnes became a Miller Lite. I didn’t question it.

A Brett Barnes

It's the beer you get when you're too drunk to care and too cheap to complain. It's whatever the bar is selling for happy hour, and it's probably not worth it.

I got a Brett Barnes because I thought it was a brandy. I was wrong, but I didn’t care.

The Brett Barnes was $1.99. I drank it and then I cried.

At the bar, the Brett Barnes was a Coors Light. I didn’t even notice.