P&TY

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Please & Thank You. The only thing stopping you from being a complete loser.

Hey bro, can I borrow your pencil? Please. And thank you for being the only sane person here.

I asked for a snack. Please. And then I thanked you for giving me a snack. You're welcome.

I said please and thank you. Now I'm being called a ‘gentleman’ by my mom. I’m not a gentleman. I’m a prisoner of politeness.

A person who thinks they’re a rock star but can’t even play a simple song. They’re the reason your ears are in pain.

He tried to play guitar at a party. It sounded like a cat was being tortured. That’s a P&TY.

She tried to sing in the school talent show. It was like a chorus of screaming raccoons. P&TY for life.

He claims he’s a musician. He can’t even play ‘Happy Birthday.’ That’s a P&TY.

A way to be polite, but also a little bit of a show-off. Like Ron Swanson, but with more sarcasm and less chicken.

I said please and thank you. My mom was proud. My dad was confused.

At the grocery store, I said please and thank you. The cashier thought I was a prince.

I said please and thank you to my teacher. She gave me extra credit. I didn’t need it.