p.l.a.c.e.k.

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A guy who thinks every ass is a free pass and every dick is a bonus round.

He asked the waitress for a side of cum and a free drink.

He tried to flirt with the barista by calling her a 'walking snack bar.'

He told his friend he'd rather date a donut than a boring girl.

A man who would eat a pizza with his hands and still call it a romantic dinner.

He proposed to his girlfriend during a food fight at a buffet.

He tried to kiss a burger and called it a 'love bite.'

He said his dating life was 'all meat and no romance.'

A guy who thinks being sexy is just wearing a shirt and calling it a ‘bold fashion choice.’

He showed up to a party in pajamas and called it ‘fashion forward.’

He tried to impress a girl by doing a cartwheel in the grocery store.

He told the barista he was ‘dressed to kill’ in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

A man who would fight a dragon for a slice of pizza and still call it a ‘bad day.’

He said his ex was ‘a pizza that didn’t deliver.’

He fought with his brother over who had the better chicken nuggets.

He called his job ‘a prison with free snacks.’

A guy who thinks love is just two people sharing a cheeseburger and a laugh.

He proposed with a coupon for free fries.

He broke up with his girlfriend because she preferred salad over pizza.

He said his love life was ‘just a lot of toppings and no meat.’