Pakenham

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A tiny town where everyone’s related and everyone’s got a weird cousin who married their aunt

My cousin’s kid is dating my uncle’s niece. That’s not a family tree, that’s a family war.

The mayor’s brother’s ex-wife’s cousin works at the local diner. It’s like a soap opera but with less drama and more incest.

I went to the grocery store and the guy behind the counter was my second cousin’s step-uncle. I left without buying anything.

A secret party that happens every time a new employee shows up, and it’s basically just a bunch of drunk bosses having a group sex session

The new intern walked in and the office started screaming. Turns out it was the annual Pakenham party.

I was told to bring snacks, not my resume. I showed up and there were three bosses wearing matching underwear.

The CEO’s wife was there. She didn’t seem happy. I think she was the one who told the HR guy about the party.