pajearses

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Pajarses are the emotional vampires of the human race. They'll sit on your chest all night, drain your battery for fun.

Ugh I can't get outta bed, my back hurts and he's still snoring

Why do guys think they're allowed to sleep 8 hours while their girlfriend works?

He says 'just a joke' but his arm is crushing the life out of me

They move as slow as molasses when you're trying to get things done. Pajarses are productivity assassins.

What time is it? It's 4pm and I've been in bed since lunch

He says he'll fix my laptop tomorrow but it's already Tuesday

Every project gets pushed back because 'can't focus'

A pajarse doesn't actually love you. They just think they own you. That shit is codependency disguised as romance.

If I didn't pay your phone bill, would you still talk to me?

She gaslights me for wanting space

He gets angry when I mention his ex

They're the guys who make fun of your clothes in private. The ones who tell you to lose weight but buy junk food.

He makes jokes about my butt size all day long

She tells me I'm fat then orders pizza for dinner

Why does he make those faces when I put on a little bit?