pajama professional

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pajama pro = works from home dressed like bed. lazy ass doesn't even get outta pajamas.

me in my PJs at the kitchen counter making coffee while answering emails

boss thinks I'm being productive but he's looking over Zoom and seeing fuzzy laptop background

pajama pro = wakes up, eats cereal out of the box for dinner, responds to texts in bed. productivity is an illusion.

settle into Netflix at 2am thinking I'll finish this report tomorrow

laughing with coworkers on Slack while wearing sweatpants

pajama pro = treats Monday through Friday like a sleepover. no shower after 3pm.

found my cat dead in the bathroom and still didn't get off the couch

forgot to eat lunch for third day running