paisley sealy

My roommate’s paisley sealy smells like a gym sock after a zombie apocalypse.

I slept on that thing and now I dream about showers.

That mattress is more liquid than my ex's love life.

I woke up with cramps and a headache from the paisley sealy.

That thing is so gross, my dog refuses to sleep on it anymore.

It’s like sleeping on a soggy pizza.

I tried to nap on the paisley sealy, but I ended up crying.

That mattress is so sad, it made me cry too.

It’s like the mattress gave up on being clean.