paintman

I asked him why he wore glitter to the party. He said, ‘It’s my signature look.’ I threw confetti at him.

He tried to be a rockstar with glitter on his face. It looked like a toddler threw up neon paint.

His Instagram bio says ‘glitter legend’ and he posts pictures of himself in a pool full of sparkles.

He showed up to the battle with pink nail polish and called it ‘liquid courage.’

At the fight club, he used purple glitter as a distraction. It didn’t work.

His mom gave him nail polish for Christmas and now he thinks he’s a warrior.

He painted his face with neon green and purple. I thought he was possessed.

At the grocery store, he turned into a rainbow. The cashier asked if he was having a meltdown.

His friend tried to stop him from painting his eyes shut. He said, ‘This is how I roll.’