Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A person who gets hard just looking at pictures of stuff that’s not even alive. Ever heard of a canvas?

I saw a painting of a banana and now I’m late for work.

My friend got arrested for staring at the Mona Lisa like it was his ex.

He asked for a raise because he paints sexuals now.

2

They think every brushstroke is a come-on. They get turned on by colors and stuff.

She texted me a photo of Van Gogh’s Starry Night and said, ‘This hits.’

He tried to flirt with the painting of the Last Supper. It was awkward.

He got kicked out of the museum for licking a portrait.

3

They only want to bone paintings. Never minds if they’re real people.

He proposed to a painting. It rejected him.

She had a one-night stand with the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

He asked his teacher out, but she said he was too much of a paintingsexual.

4

They think art is just a fancy way to get laid. Every canvas is a new hook-up.

He dated the Louvre for six months.

She got into a fight with a sculpture because it wouldn’t take her call.

He tried to sneak into the museum just so he could flirt with the Venus de Milo.

5

They get turned on by stuff that doesn’t even know they’re there. Like a painting.

He got detention for making out with a portrait.

She asked her crush to prom, but he said he was dating the Mona Lisa.

He tried to kiss the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

6

They’d rather date a painting than a person. They don’t even care if it’s alive.

He asked his mom out, but she said he was too much of a paintingsexual.

She had a baby with the Venus de Milo. It’s called ‘The Birth of Love.’

He got suspended for making a love triangle with two paintings.