painting the pickle

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When you take a big dump in the middle of the day and then sit there like a king while everyone else is suffering.

I painted the pickle at the mall restrooms and laughed when the security guard came running.

My uncle did the pickle in the middle of a church service and got kicked out.

I painted the pickle on the bus and had to hold it in for two hours.

When someone else’s tongue is going up and down your weenie like they’re cleaning a toilet with a mop.

My friend painted my pickle in the locker room and I couldn’t stop laughing.

At the park, some kid licked my pickle while I was eating a hot dog.

I got painted in the pickle by my girlfriend during a surprise party.

When you throw poop on someone’s belly like they’re a canvas and you’re some kind of poop artist.

I painted my sister in the pickle during lunch and she had to go home with brown pants.

My brother threw poop on me while I was eating pizza and it was messy.

At the school fair, I painted my teacher’s belly with poop and got suspended.