paintballer

My mom asked why I have a purple bruise on my arm. I said, 'Because I’m a paintballer.' She said, 'You’re an idiot.'

I got hit in the face with green paint during a game. I laughed so hard I cried.

At work, my boss asked what I did all weekend. I said, 'I played paintball.' He said, 'You’re a lunatic.'

I was on a plane with three of my teammates. We were all half-drunk and yelling about how we lost the tournament.

I got frisked by airport security because I had 10 paintball balls in my pocket. It was worth it.

My friend tried to explain why he has a huge bruise on his leg to a guy who looked like he just came from a war.

My friend said paintball is stupid. I told him to go blow up a cow.

I play paintball because it’s the only time I feel like a superhero.

I told my teacher I was sick so I could play paintball instead of going to class.

My friend served in the military, and now he gets yelled at by paintballs. He loves it.

I told my dad I play paintball like it's war. He said, 'That’s not war, that’s nonsense.'

My mom said I was like a soldier, except I got hit with green balls instead of bullets.

I told my friend paintball is the best sport ever. He said, 'You’re a weirdo.'

At school, I got in trouble for drawing on my desk with red paint from a game.

My brother said paintball is stupid. I said, 'You’re just jealous you lost.'

I told my friend paintball is the best game ever. He said, 'You're insane.'

At lunch, I was drawing on my pizza with green paint from a tournament.

My teacher asked why I had blue all over my face. I said, 'Because I play paintball.' She said, 'That’s not an excuse.'

I told my friend paintball is the best thing since rollerblades. He said, 'You’re weird.'

My brother thought paintball was a new kind of candy.

At school, I got in trouble because I used a marker to draw on my desk.