Paint the canvas

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Dropping your load like it’s a hot potato right on her chest

He painted the canvas mid-lunch and got a free sandwich out of it.

She was wearing a white shirt and now it looks like a crime scene.

He painted the canvas so hard the neighbors called the police.

Shooting your stuff all over someone like they’re a target practice dummy

He painted the canvas during a Zoom call and his boss was speechless.

She got painted during a surprise party and cried happy tears.

He painted the canvas so fast he missed his own pants.

Leaving your goo on the toilet like it’s your permanent home

He painted the canvas so well he got a standing ovation from the toilet.

She painted the canvas and the toilet now has a five-star rating.

He painted the canvas and the toilet got a new lease on life.

Pulling out at the last second and splattering your stuff on her like it’s a festival

He painted the canvas right before the big finale and ruined the whole show.

She got painted during a date and now her shirt is history.

He painted the canvas so hard the lights flickered.