Paint the Baby

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A kid that gets airbrushed like a ugly plastic doll for some stupid kids' beauty contest. It looks like a reject from a horror movie.

My niece got painted like a radioactive toaster. I'm still traumatized.

That kid looks like a melted crayon. What did they do to her?

My cousin’s baby looked like a monster from a clown’s nightmare.

Are you gonna do the nasty with me? Like, right now? No time for fancy talk.

Paint the baby? I'm in. Let's do this in the back of the gas station.

If you don't paint the baby, I'm gonna tell your mom.

Paint the baby? I'd rather fight a dragon.

When a pregnant person smokes illegal weed and the baby gets some crazy high vibes. It’s like the baby’s brain is on fire.

I painted the baby so hard, the kid can already do magic tricks.

I smoked so much weed, my baby’s gonna be a wizard.

I painted the baby so much, the kid’s gonna be a stoner for life.

Your girlfriend who has a metallic-tasting cat and thinks it’s the best thing ever. She’s a weirdo.

My girlfriend painted the baby with her cat’s spit. It was metallic and weird.

She paints the baby with her cat’s tongue. It tastes like a bad science experiment.

Her cat tastes like a metal can. She paints the baby with it every day.