painprism

Fresh

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A lanky, half-dead kid from Ballantyne who can’t skate worth squat and tries to be cool by playing guitar like it’s a fashion accessory.

He tried to jam at the park and looked like he was being tortured.

His guitar solo was worse than my math test.

He texted me: 'I'm gonna rock this weekend, bro.' I replied: 'Bro, you can't even balance on one foot.'

A human version of a broken blender who also thinks he’s a musician and lives in Ballantyne.

He tried to play guitar at the mall and it sounded like a cat was being yelled at.

His band practice was just him yelling into a microphone.

He DM’d me: 'I’m gonna be famous.' I said, 'Bro, you’re lucky your dog doesn’t hate you.'

A guy from Ballantyne who’s so bad at skating he looks like a duck on rollerblades and also thinks he can sing.

He tried to do a flip and fell flat on his face.

He sang at lunch and it was like listening to a dying toaster.

He told me, 'I’m gonna be the next big thing.' I said, 'You’re the next big joke.'