painkiller

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The best album Judas Priest ever dropped! The band that made it is still the same one. They haven’t gotten any less stupid.

@JudasPriest just confirmed they're still the same old farts from 1980. #NoNewMembers

I’ve listened to this album so much my dog thinks it’s a lullaby. #PainKillerVibes

My grandma says she can’t sleep without this album. She’s been dead for three years.

A pill you take when your brain feels like it's being microwaved and your soul is on fire.

I took two painkillers and still cried during the movie. #EmotionalBreakdown

My dog took my painkiller and started dancing like a maniac. #PillCrazedDoge

My brother takes 12 of them before he even gets out of bed.

When you’re playing Call of Duty and you keep dying like it’s your job, and then you get triple health just to make you feel worse.

My team is killing me so fast I think my head will pop off. #DyingMoreThanAGhost

Triple health? Please, that’s not a help, it’s a humiliation.

I died 12 times and still got no respect. My team thinks I’m the enemy.

A video game where you pretend to be a person who doesn’t know how to play video games.

I played that game for 10 hours and still don’t know what I’m doing. #PCLife

My dog plays it better than me. He’s got more skills.

That game is so bad, my ex came back just to mock me.

When a bullet goes through your head like it’s your best friend and doesn’t even say hello.

I got shot in the head and still didn’t know who did it. #HeadshotHappiness

That bullet was rude, it didn’t even say goodbye.

My dog got shot in the head, and he’s now the cool kid at school.

A rum drink that tastes like a beach party threw up in your mouth. It was invented by someone who probably didn’t know what coconut milk was.

I drank this and felt like I swallowed the ocean. #CaribbeanVomit

This drink is so sweet, my dog thinks it’s love.

My grandma made me drink this when I said I hate pineapple.

A big metal robot that comes from the sky to save the world, but only after everyone else is dead and crying.

That robot came out of nowhere like it was late for a meeting. #MetalMessiah

I cried so hard when I saw him, my dog got a headache.

He’s supposed to be half man and half machine, but he looks more like a broken toaster.