Pain Cake

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Kicking someone’s butt so hard they cry while wearing a football jersey and pretending to be a linebacker

I pain ca ked that kid so bad he got a detention for crying in the hallway.

My cousin pain ca ked his teacher during lunch and now he's got a black eye.

I pain ca ked my dog and now he won't stop whining.

Smashing someone like a meatball with a football tackle and laughing in their face

He pain ca ked me in the hallway and I tripped into a trash can.

My friend pain ca ked his brother and now he's got a bruise the size of a pizza.

She pain ca ked her mom and now she's grounded for a month.

Giving someone the worst hit of their life while wearing a football jersey like you're the king of pain

He pain ca ked me so hard I got a nosebleed and a headache.

My little brother pain ca ked his friend and now he's got a broken shoelace.

She pain ca ked her teacher and now she's got a new nickname: 'The Tackle Queen.'

Tackling someone like they owe you money and then telling them they're stupid

He pain ca ked me and then said I was a weakling.

My dog pain ca ked my neighbor and now he's got a hair cut.

She pain ca ked her friend and now she's got a new nickname: 'The Tackle Brat.'

Smacking someone so hard they feel it in their bones while wearing a football jersey like it’s your job

He pain ca ked me and now my bones are sore.

My friend pain ca ked his brother and now he's got a new nickname: 'The Bone Smasher.'

She pain ca ked her teacher and now she's got a new nickname: 'The Tackle Queen.'

Tackling someone like they’re a meatball and you’re the king of the lunch table

He pain ca ked me and now I’m the lunch table’s new meatball.

My dog pain ca ked his neighbor and now he's got a hair cut.

She pain ca ked her teacher and now she’s got a new nickname: 'The Tackle Brat.'