pain and suffering inc.

I got fired, my dog died, and my ex sent me a text saying she’s pregnant with my kid

My pizza was cold and I had to listen to my mom yell at the TV

I failed math and my pet goldfish is now a vegan

You think you’re sad? I’ve seen people cry over expired bread

Your heartbreak is just a side dish to my lunch meat disaster

Your bad day is just a warm-up for my Monday

I came in with a broken leg and left with a headache from my mom’s yelling

My anxiety got lost on the way to the office

Your bad day just got a new roommate: me