Paige Riley King of Massachusetts

Bro, you’re lucky she didn’t dump you for a guy with a better tan.

He’s like a kid who still thinks he’s cool just because he has a phone.

If he kept his mouth shut, he’d be the best man at his own wedding.

He’s like a dog who thinks he’s a lion just because he got a collar.

He’s the kind of guy who’d call a cop if he spilled coffee on his shirt.

He’s good, but he’s not good enough to know it.

He’s like a pizza with no cheese, still edible, but not great.

He could be a king, but he’s happy being a prince with a bad attitude.

He’s got the skills of a superhero but the mindset of a toddler.