Pagan

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A proper wasteman. A guy who’s too lazy to be a proper idiot.

My neighbor’s a pagan. He eats cereal for dinner and thinks the moon is a conspiracy.

My cousin’s a pagan. He wears a hat with antlers and thinks he’s a god.

My teacher said I’m a pagan because I drew a goat on the blackboard instead of doing math.

A word for people who worship gods, nature, and also probably a lot of random stuff. They’re not Christian, so they get called names.

My friend’s a pagan. She thinks trees have souls and talks to them every morning.

My uncle’s a pagan. He tried to summon a demon with a cheese sandwich and a candle.

My sister’s a pagan. She thinks the sun is a god and the moon is its girlfriend.

A person who believes in multiple gods and also probably thinks you're a dumbass.

My brother’s a pagan. He has a shrine to a goat and a chicken and thinks they’re both gods.

My friend’s a pagan. He tried to cast a spell on my math test and failed.

My mom’s a pagan. She told me the clouds were sending me a message and it was about my bad grades.

A word that means someone who believes in nature, gods, and also probably thinks you're an idiot.

My neighbor’s a pagan. He plants herbs in his lawn and thinks they’re magic.

My friend’s a pagan. He wears a hat made of feathers and thinks it makes him powerful.

My dog’s a pagan. He barks at the moon and thinks it’s a god.

A batty man who probably thinks you're a failure.

My teacher’s a pagan. She thinks the chalk is a god and talks to it during class.

My dad’s a pagan. He thinks the TV is a portal to other worlds.

My friend’s a pagan. He thinks the school bus driver is a wizard.

A person who believes in more than one god, or any religion that's not Christian, Jewish, or Islamic. They also probably think you're a fool.

My uncle’s a pagan. He thinks the fridge is a god and offers it candy every day.

My friend’s a pagan. He has a statue of a goat and thinks it’s a god.

My brother’s a pagan. He thinks the internet is a god and talks to it every night.

A person who acts like your friend but betrays you. They’re probably a pagan.

My friend’s a pagan. He said he’d help me cheat on the test, then he told the teacher.

My neighbor’s a pagan. He said he’d share his snacks, then he ate them all.

My brother’s a pagan. He said he’d help me with my homework, then he failed the test.