paedococranecrophiliac

i once saw him blow a fart into a dead kid's poop and said it was the best sex ever

he texted me 'just had sex with a dead kid's poop and it was the worst'

at the funeral, he was eating the kid's poop like it was a snack

he texts the kid's poop every day and calls it his 'poop-buddy'

he told the priest the kid's poop was his fiancé

he had a fight with the kid's poop over who got to be the main character

he brought the kid's poop to the beach and used it as a flip-flop

he tried to propose to the kid's poop and it fell apart

he was caught eating the kid's poop in the middle of the church