Paedacles

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Those chunky glasses that look like they were stolen from a pervert’s kid, and only ever seen on people who smell like old socks and bad decisions.

My uncle’s glasses are so big, they look like they’re trying to escape his face.

That guy at the bus stop wears them like they’re a badge of shame.

She put on those glasses and suddenly looked like she’d just walked out of a jail cell.

The glasses that make you look like you just got out of a creepy basement and are ready to molest a kid.

He put on those glasses and instantly became the scariest man in the park.

My teacher wears them and now I’m convinced she’s hiding a secret life as a paedophile.

That kid’s glasses are so thick, they might as well be a prison.

Those big, ugly glasses that look like they were made by a drunk guy who also smells like a gym sock.

My dad’s glasses are so bad, they look like they were stolen from a creepy old man.

That guy in the library wears them like they’re a second skin.

She put on those glasses and suddenly looked like she was about to kidnap a toddler.