Padraich

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1
A guy who’s so sweet he makes your mom cry, so funny he makes your dad laugh till he pees, and so cute he makes your dog try to hump his leg. He’s got the best music taste and all the girls want to date him because he’s the rarest kind of human, don’t let him go.
My ex is Padraich. He left me for a chicken nugget. I cried.
Padraich asked me to prom. I said yes. Then he asked me to his mom’s house. I cried again.
Padraich came into my class. I immediately fell in love. Then I realized he was in love with my best friend. I cried for three days.
2
He’s the guy who’s so cute he makes your face look ugly. He’s got the best music taste and makes your life a mess because every girl in the school wants to be his girlfriend. Don’t let him go, he’s the real deal.
Padraich walked into the room. My heart stopped. My best friend’s heart stopped too. We both cried.
Padraich texted me: 'Hey, wanna hang out?' I said yes. Then he asked my best friend. I cried.
Padraich is the reason I failed math. I was too busy daydreaming about him.
3
A guy who’s so awesome he makes your life worse. He’s got all the girls because he’s cute, funny, and knows how to pick the best songs. Don’t let him go, he’s the best thing that ever happened to you.
Padraich texted me: 'Hey, wanna go to the mall?' I said yes. Then he asked my best friend. I cried at the mall.
Padraich came to my birthday party. I got jealous. I cried in the bathroom.
Padraich is the reason I failed English. I was too busy writing him love letters.
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