Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

Having sex with an Irish woman who drinks like a fish and screams like a banshee.

I had sex with my aunt on St. Patrick's Day and it was like a warzone.

My date turned into a karaoke battle and a full-on food fight.

I had sex with a woman who drank 12 pints and still had energy to slap me.

2

Getting knocked off your feet by a tipsy driver on St. Patrick’s Day, like you’re a piece of toast and the car is a toaster.

I got hit by a guy who thought he was James Bond and drove like a lunatic.

The driver was so drunk he thought he was in a movie and kept yelling, 'I'm the king of the road!'

I walked into a street and got hit by a car that looked like it had been run over by a goat.

3

An Irish girl who drinks so much she thinks she’s a superhero and screams at the moon.

She drank 10 pints and tried to do a backflip off a bar.

She screamed at the moon and it started raining whiskey.

She tried to dance with a streetlamp and it fell over.

4

Having sex with someone so fat they could be a couch and still scream like a banshee.

I had sex with my cousin who eats like a horse and talks like a donkey.

My date was so big I thought he was a human sofa.

He ate a whole pizza and still had room for a beer.

5

Getting your junk gripped like a vice and getting slapped so hard your nuts think it's a party.

My girlfriend grabbed my junk like a lobster trap and slapped me until I cried.

I was suspended upside down like a weird science experiment and got whacked like a meatloaf.

He grabbed my junk and slapped me until my pants fell off.

6

Making a promise to someone just to shut them up and then walking away like you never heard them.

I told my mom I’d clean my room just so she’d stop yelling at me.

I promised my friend I’d help him study, then went to play video games.

I said I’d go to the store, then watched Netflix all day.

7

Getting killed by an Irishman who drinks like a pig and fights like a bear.

My uncle drank 20 pints and then punched me until I was a pancake.

He took a swing at me with a bottle and I died from the shock.

He drank so much he thought he was a warrior and killed me in a duel.