1
What stupid whitewater kayakers call each other like they're the only ones who ever paddled a boat.
Hey you paddler, you're gonna drown in a puddle.
I'm not a paddler, I'm a legend.
Paddler? I've seen better paddlers in a toilet bowl.
paddler
Fresh0 views · Added 3h ago · 7 definitions
2
A person who’s so low on the genetic ladder they’re probably related to the bacteria in a public toilet.
That paddler is worse than my ex and my dog combined.
If I had a dollar for every paddler I’ve ever seen, I’d have enough to buy a boat and a curse.
That paddler looks like they were born in a dumpster.
3
A person who floats around in a canoe, kayak, or raft like they're the king of the river.
That paddler is the king of the river and I'm just the peasant.
I'm a paddler, and I'm proud of it.
I don’t know how to float, but I know how to paddle like a paddler.
4
A guy who follows all the trends, buys all the shoes, and still somehow can’t find a girlfriend. Also known as a hypebeast.
That paddler wears more shoes than I’ve had girlfriends.
He's a trend-following, hypebeast, and still single.
He's a paddler and the most basic of basic guys.
5
A paddler who lives for the river, the sun, and the feeling of being broke but still happy.
That dirtbag paddler would throw a rope to a drowning cat.
I'm a dirtbag paddler, and I'm not even ashamed.
That paddler is broke, but they're rich in soul and river love.
6
The worst kind of person who blocks your path to getting your pants wet. Also known as a vagina bandit.
That paddler is a vagina bandit and I want a medal.
He’s a vagina blocker and I’m going to punch him.
That guy is a pussy dodger and I’m going to throw him in the river.
7
The tan on a paddler’s hands looks like someone sunbaked a fish and forgot to flip it.
That paddler’s hands look like they were burned in a fire and baked in a toaster.
I’ve got a paddle tan so bad it looks like I work in a bakery.
That paddler’s hands have the tan of a lobster and the burn of a toaster.