Paddlepalooza

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a canoe trip on a river that makes you want to punch the water and swear at the fish

I got stuck in a log jam and yelled, 'I’m not your cousin!'

The river tried to eat my canoe and I laughed in its face.

My paddle broke and I had to fight a beaver for the rest of the trip.

a canoe trip that turns your back into a sunburned brick and your patience into a pile of trash

I got so sunburned I looked like a lobster and cried in the river.

My friend threw a sandwich at a gull and it flew into my face.

We got stuck in a rapids and my canoe looked like it was about to die.

a canoe trip that’s like being stuck on a river with a bunch of people who won’t stop talking

My buddy kept singing show tunes and I wanted to throw him overboard.

We got lost and I yelled, 'I am not a GPS!'

The river was calm, but my group was louder than a rock concert.