Pad Pussy

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a soggy towel someone uses in the gym because they’re too lazy to lift and too weak to handle the pain

My back’s gonna fall off if I don’t use this towel like a pad.

This pad is just a towel because I’m too fat to do real work.

I use a pad pussy because I can’t even do 10 push-ups without crying.

a tiny seat on a motorcycle where your girl sits because she can’t ride without falling off and looking like an idiot

My girl sits on that pad like it’s a throne and I’m her servant.

She won’t ride without that pad or she’ll fall and look stupid.

That pad is the only thing keeping her from dying on my bike.

a squishy shield for your crotch that women wear because they know men are just meat and they’re not going to take any nonsense

That pad is thicker than my ex’s lies.

I wear that pad like it’s a badge of honor.

No man has ever had it as good as me with this pad.

a man who thinks he’s a god because he wears pads like a clown and yells at anyone who doesn’t worship him

That guy thinks he’s a superhero because he has pads on.

He yells at me because I don’t play football and he thinks I’m a waste of oxygen.

He’s so full of himself he thinks he’s the only man in the world.