Pacoon

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The fuzzy, uninvited hairs that pop out from your crotch like they’re trying to start a riot.

My gym shorts are giving me side-eye. I know what I did.

My boyfriend called me a 'hairy nightmare' after I took off my bikini.

My sister said my pubes looked like they were trying to escape a prison break.

That gross, squishy meat on the road that looks like it was roasted by the devil and left for dead.

I almost stepped on it. I now have a new fear of raccoons.

That thing looked like it had been dead for weeks and still hadn’t given up.

I swear it was a possum. It had a face.