packing plastic

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Having credit cards that are like golden tickets for buying whatever you want without blinking an eye.

My credit card has a limit so high I think it's mocking me.

I spent $500 on pizza because my card said 'go for it, fool'.

My dad’s card has no limit. He once bought a whole island.

Screaming into your hole with a rubber chicken or a buzzing snake because you’re too lazy to actually have fun.

I packed plastic with my phone on silent. It was the worst.

My vibrator was louder than my roommate’s girlfriend.

I used a plastic bag as a dildo because I was too cheap to buy one.

Putting a tiny rubber thing in your pocket just in case you get lucky and someone wants to do something embarrassing.

I packed plastic just in case my crush asked me to the prom.

I had a condom in my pocket and it saved my life during a surprise kiss.

I packed plastic because I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my mom.