Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you can't handle the pressure of being up close and personal, like you're scared you'll poop your pants.

I tried to do the deed and it was like I had a colon full of anxiety.

He couldn't even look me in the eye during the big moment.

She was so nervous, she accidentally called her mom during the whole thing.

2

When you're so bad at being close, it's like you're trying to have sex with a stranger in a phone booth.

He was so awkward, I thought he was trying to escape through the wall.

She talked to her friend the whole time instead of me.

He tried to whisper, but it came out like a shout.

3

You're so weak in tight situations, it's like you're a kid who just got caught peeing in the pants.

He was so scared, he started hyperventilating like a maniac.

She couldn't even finish the first move before she ran out.

He tried to fake it, but it was so obvious, it was sad.

4

You’re so bad at being close, you’d rather be stuck in a locker with a raccoon than be near someone.

He ran out mid-thing and hid under the bed.

She started crying like a baby and called her mom.

He said, 'I can't do this, I have to go pee.'

5

You're so bad at intimacy, it's like you're trying to have sex in a haunted house with a ghost.

He kept looking at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing.

She was too busy checking her phone to even notice.

He said, 'I think I'm gonna throw up.'

6

You’re so bad at being close, you’d rather be stuck in a blender than be near someone.

He started screaming like he was being chased by a bear.

She tried to talk through the whole thing like it was a podcast.

He said, 'I can't do this, I need a drink.'