Pachimari

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A pachimari is a squishy, tentacle-filled onion from Overwatch that sounds like a fart when you smash it. It’s the least cute thing ever.

I stepped on a pachimari and it screamed like my mom in a traffic jam.

My friend tried to eat one and it turned into a crying baby.

I threw a pachimari at a manager and it exploded like a piñata full of insults.

A pachimari is a dumb turnip made by Jeff Kaplan that can destroy machines if you throw enough of them at one.

I dropped 20 pachimaris on a game console and it became a pile of ashes.

My brother used pachimaris to beat up a vending machine. It cried.

I got fired for using pachimaris to attack the boss’s office.

The Bad Pachimari League is a cursed Overwatch tournament where friends turn into enemies and everyone loses their minds.

My team joined the Bad Pachimari League and now we hate each other like exes.

I got yelled at by 10 pachimaris during the tournament. It was traumatic.

The league turned my dog into a pachimari. He’s now a screaming onion.

A pachimari is a content creator who hates the Overwatch League and predicts every match like he’s been cursed by the gods.

He predicted the team would lose and they did, but it was because of a pachimari attack.

He cursed the team with a pachimari and now they all have bad hair days.

He predicted a win and it was wrong. The pachimaris laughed at him.