Pachecoism

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When your friend is trying to talk sense, but they just spew a pile of jumbled nonsense that sounds like a broken robot tried to speak Spanish.

'I was like, bro, I just wanted to say I like tacos, but he said something about a taco truck and a llama fight.'

'She was trying to explain her crush, but he turned it into a story about a pizza that cried.'

'He tried to tell me he wanted to go to the mall, but he said something about a shopping spree with a goat.'

A person who inhales weed like it’s their job, and sometimes their brain turns into a bag of chips.

'He’s been high for three days and still thinks the TV is talking to him.'

'She smoked so much she started drawing on the walls with glitter.'

'He just sat there staring at the ceiling like it was a conspiracy.'

A drunk person who thinks they’re a superhero, and everyone around them is just there to cheer them on while they spill beer everywhere.

'He drank six beers and started fighting a mailbox.'

'She tried to dance on a table and ended up falling into a pool.'

'He thought he was Batman, so he tried to save a pigeon from a trash can.'

A guy who can dance like a flamingo on a trampoline, but when it comes to asking a girl out, he just stutters and runs away.

'He danced like a flamingo, but when she asked him out, he ran like he was being chased by a dragon.'

'He had the moves, but when he tried to ask her out, he said, 'Do you like me? Or do you just like my shoes?'

'He did the cha-cha, but when it came time to say something nice, he just said, 'I like your face.'

The kind of cold that makes your nose run like a water fountain and your feet feel like they’re on fire.

'It was so cold, I had to wear a hat on my hat.'

'My toes were numb, and my breath looked like a ghost.'

'I walked outside and my nose was running so much, I looked like a leaky faucet.'

When you stab someone in the neck with something pointy, like a pencil, a fork, or a very angry potato.

'He shanked me with a pencil, and now my neck feels like it’s on fire.'

'She used a fork to shank him, and he screamed like a baby.'

'He tried to shank me with a potato, and it was the worst thing I’ve ever felt.'

When your friend tries to ruin your love life, and they just end up making it worse by being extra annoying.

'He tried to step in and ask her out, and now she’s confused.'

'She tried to be my friend, but she ended up being my worst enemy.'

'He kept texting her, and now she thinks he’s a stalker.'