paccoon

Fresh

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1
A half-assed panda and raccoon hybrid. It’s got the brain of a rock and the attitude to match.
My paccoon climbed a tree and pooped on my neighbor's roof.
I tried to feed it a sandwich and it threw it at me.
It stared at me like I owed it money.
2
A raccoon that got hit by a panda bus. Now it’s cursed to live on top of things.
My paccoon sat on my laptop and broke it.
It stole my pizza and ran into a tree.
It came to my door and yelled at me.
3
A crossbreed that’s too lazy to be a raccoon and too clumsy to be a panda.
My paccoon fell off a tree and landed on my face.
It took a nap in my cereal bowl.
It tried to eat my phone and broke it.
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