paccoon

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A half-assed panda and raccoon hybrid. It’s got the brain of a rock and the attitude to match.

My paccoon climbed a tree and pooped on my neighbor's roof.

I tried to feed it a sandwich and it threw it at me.

It stared at me like I owed it money.

A raccoon that got hit by a panda bus. Now it’s cursed to live on top of things.

My paccoon sat on my laptop and broke it.

It stole my pizza and ran into a tree.

It came to my door and yelled at me.

A crossbreed that’s too lazy to be a raccoon and too clumsy to be a panda.

My paccoon fell off a tree and landed on my face.

It took a nap in my cereal bowl.

It tried to eat my phone and broke it.