Pabst

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1
The name for a bunch of snobby kids who think they're cool because they drink this stuff and wear flannel.
My cousin got into a fight with a Pabst group over who had the better flannel.
I saw a Pabst gang drinking it at a gas station like they were in a movie.
My teacher called them all 'hipster trash' and gave them extra homework.
2
It’s not fancy, but it’s cheap and it gets you drunk fast. Who cares if it tastes like wet cardboard?
I drank three cans and passed out on the floor like a dog.
My friend said it tastes like he got hit by a truck.
I drank it so fast I forgot my own name.
3
This beer is like a blanket for college kids, it keeps them warm in winter and makes them throw up in summer.
I drank it so much I threw up on my roommate’s shoes.
My friend passed out in the shower after drinking it all night.
It’s the only thing that kept me from freezing in the dorm.
4
To pass around a can or bottle of Pabst like it’s the last thing on Earth.
He passed the can like it was gold.
She passed it to her friend and then fell asleep.
They passed it around like it was a holy relic.
5
A cheap keg that tastes like it was made in a pig pen and poured by a drunk man.
That keg was so bad it tasted like my uncle’s boots.
We all got sick from that keg and it was glorious.
The keg tasted like it was made in a garbage can.
6
A bad beer that makes you feel like you're in a bad movie with your dad and his girlfriend.
I drank it and thought I was in a bad movie with my dad.
My dad drank it and told me he used to drink it with his girlfriend.
It tastes like my dad’s old girlfriend.
7
This beer is like a cheap thrill, it gets you drunk fast and makes you forget your problems for a while.
I drank it and forgot my math test.
It got me so drunk I walked into a wall.
I drank it and forgot my own name again.
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