P__.William

I follow him because I think he’s got a sausage the size of a football.

He posts selfies and I’m like, ‘That’s not a phone. That’s a meat mountain.’

I check his stories every day. I don’t care if he’s eating pizza or sleeping. I just want to see his junk.

He’s got a penis so big, I think it’s got a second job.

I follow him because I think he could beat up a donut and still have time for a nap.

I look at his photos and I’m like, ‘That’s not a penis. That’s a whole damn buffet.’

He has a meat stick that looks like it could eat a sandwich for lunch.

I follow him because I think his penis is the strongest thing in the universe.

I see his Instagram and I’m like, ‘That’s not a photo. That’s a meat parade.’