P-Land

I moved to Seattle and now I wish I was back in P-Land where people actually know what a decent coffee tastes like.

My cousin lives in Phoenix and says it's 'hot', I laugh and say 'you're just sad you're not in P-Land.'

I told my boss I was leaving for Portland and he said 'why?' I said 'because you're an idiot and P-Land doesn't tolerate idiots.'

I got yelled at in Denver for wearing a hat inside, I just smiled and said 'I'm from P-Land.'

My friend moved to Las Vegas and now lives in a casino, I live in P-Land and I have a garden.

The only place where the people are nicer than the coffee. No joke.

My mom lives in Dallas and says it's 'boring', I said 'you're just jealous you're not in P-Land.'

I told my teacher I was going to move to Portland and she said 'why?' I said 'because I'm tired of your dumb questions.'

I got in a fight with my brother because he said P-Land wasn't that good, now he lives in Cleveland and I live in P-Land.