P-fitz

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The annoying pop of a soda can when you open it like a screaming toddler who just got kicked in the nuts.

I opened my soda and it sounded like my mom's neighbor's kid screaming.

The can made a P-fitz like someone just broke my cousin's finger.

That soda can made a P-fitz so loud my dog ran out of the room.

A weird armadillo that lives in Medford, MA and probably stares at you like you owe it money.

I saw a P-fitz in the woods and it gave me the side eye.

That armadillo in Medford is a P-fitz and it's judging my life choices.

The P-fitz ran away when I yelled at it for stealing my sandwich.

A pimp so smooth he could make a dead man dance and a broken toaster sing.

That P-fitz walks in and all the girls forget their names.

My uncle is a P-fitz and he could charm a brick wall.

That guy is a P-fitz, and I believe he once dated my grandma.